Ms. Garcia Smiles at Me

The first time I had to take students through a lockdown drill, I was a teacher at Ballet Tech. It was shortly after the Sandy Hook massacre and we were all traumatized. We couldn’t really believe that this was something that we had to do with our students.

I was with a 4th grade class for the lockdown drill and I was not prepared for the emotional journey the drill would provoke in my students. The kids huddled in the dark, silent, waiting to hear the doorknob jiggled to confirm that it was locked. Afterwards, we had a long, anxious conversation about all the what-ifs. About being in the hallway or the bathroom, about moving, about making noises, about all of the impossible fears around this devastatingly necessary drill.

From this experience, I wrote “Ms. Garcia Smiles at Me.” I thought so much about that day, and about what I wish I had done differently as the teacher. I thought about the opportunity that exists for calm, when you have your class of students, sitting silently in the dark. I found that for me, moving forward, the only way to do this drill, was to make it an exercise of mindfulness and staying in the present moment.

I wanted the students, rather than to focus on the “what ifs” to focus on my face. So I would train my face into a calm smile. And they would reflect that back to me on theirs. I wanted them, rather than to let their imaginations wander, or think about how much they wanted to move or talk - to just be present in their bodies. To watch me take deep breaths, and in turn, take their own deep breaths.

Children are tasked with a heavy emotional load these days. I know we are all thinking about it all the time. In “Ms. Garcia Smiles at Me,” I just wanted to give children, teachers, and parents, a simple tool for facing these potentially anxiety ridden exercises with calm and presence of mind. Please feel free to download this PDF and share with anyone who would be interested.

I wish the need for this book didn’t exist, but I hope it is useful.